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Conformist_Metaljunk
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Name: sj
Birthday: 5/23/1992
Gender: Female
Interests: I have a great interest in animals and art, however, in my artwork I rarley paint anything except horses ...
Expertise: Complaining and art
Occupation: Filler
Industry: bunnies
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
3/21/2006
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| It's been a short first term at Uni. Now on Easter break, I am completing the assignments due soon after we get back. The accounting assessment, resentfully the most urgent of the three is also the one I cannot put off any more. I will be scrambling to understand what it is asking me - accounting in all but a few short aspects that have little to do with what we are doing now confuses me. The short meeting where we talked today unveiled nothing.
I'm fast becoming a fixture in the common room belonging to some science students. Although I had the option to join the association for the commerce students, they held nothing that interested me. The guy there, mentioned briefly before proved too tough a nut to crack, and I did not pursue it. If something could come of it it would have been easy to communicate (but there is something that can be said for guys who look good in skin tight jeans). Surrounded by people with interests that are similar to mine has put my mind at ease, and the constant fear and freak outs of early this year feel foolish.
So things are going well; I am now well on my way to proving my worth as a person - cant wait to go back now!
Sparrow | | |
| I am 99% sure I am going to fail my accounting unit.
Reiterating this to a friend, he said "I don't care."
Suddenly I feel too old and respectful for the people I know now. | | |
| Just turned in my essay for one of my units; the first assessment I had to do and another three snapping at its heels like a mad creature. I'll do them all over this week and next, hopefully have time to submit them for review before I submit them for assessment.
I realised that I am right for uni. When did I realise that? When I stopped worrying about the census date and started to focus on my assignments, without worrying about the money I'm putting into it. It made me feel good, and I didn't feel angry so much now I'm not just waiting for shit to happen.
Still chilling at the common room for the computer science students. Of course I wouldn't make much of an attempt for the business club students! I probably should, but I've found shit I enjoy in this one, so I'll stick to it. I've made friends around outside of that social circle, and sometimes they want to mingle, which makes me go all "ASDF NO STAY IN ALL YOUR CATEGORIES" like some deranged person with social OCD.
I met a guy in there I like a lot, he's a friend of a friend, and I did try, but now I don't think there's anything I can do to make it go further. Seeing Lettuce's life pan out well with all his bold moves makes me sad I can't even get something I want. But it's nothing new, and all it does is make me feel unwell, or go to the gym.
What I liked about him most was that even though his attitude, the façade was "I don't care", he was also open about caring about things, and it did show through. He wasn't made of ice like Lettuce, I wish I could have found people like that when I was younger instead of being abandoned as soon as I became too much effort.
Sparrow | | |
| Haven't spoken to "The guys" much over the past week. Didn't feel right, they're too busy, I'm too busy. The occasional chat with Mike and Twiggy where I just moan on about how I'm afraid to approach people at uni because I worry about being rejected when all I want to say is "why did you reject me after so long?"
I get shy about going anywhere now. I hope it's passing, I haven't made many friends at university but at least the politics is lessened. I want to remain diplomatic even towards those I don't get on with, if there are any in the future (as there will be, I am sure).
As of now, I need to finish an essay and review my Accounting stuff. I am going to struggle with Accounting, I can tell. But if I don't get lazy (as I was with my Communications lecture, sadly - TEN STROKES O THE CAT-O-NINE-TAILS) I should scrape an ever-loving pass. Accounting is a tough subject for someone who hates that kind of number crunching.
At least I am still working on it.
Sparrow | | |
| http://projectunbreakable.tumblr.com
I thought about submitting a photo of what he told me.
Then I remembered Lettuce accusing me of raping him and I didn't feel entitled. | | |
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